Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in zombi_king's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
7:19 am	st valentines day valentines day is the ruby centerpiece in the crown of loneliness. the day that makes masturbation seem even more desperate, shameful and pathetic. it is the holiday that bleeds whiskey tears. but not anymore. this is how we take it back. imagine: the girl at the DMV who gave you her number, you couldn't call her because you were already in a relationship. that one time you kissed your boyfriends best friend on New Years and he bit your lip like he loved you. someone you could've or should've been with. the Nice Guy, the Bad Girl. we all have someone we wish we might have had, someone we wish we never lost. bring back the Secret Admirer. let your Id pass out the hard candies. feel neither shame or compunction. just don't wait until youre drunk. or dead. feel free to post all love letters in the comment section here. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 26th, 2006
3:40 pm	soap I dreamt that i lived on the edge of a great forest. I had just purchased a bar of fine soap. It was brown and smelled of Ginseng. The most interesting thing about this particular bar of soap is that on one side it had a trio of socialist heroines carved in deep relief upon its surface.  I thought my friend Harvey would really enjoy this unique hygiene product, so i mailed it to his home deep within the forest.  Moments later I recieved a postcard from Harvey.  The picture on the front was a photograph of his extensive collection of novelty soaps.  I had unwittingly given him a bar that duplicated one already in his possession.  I was kind of embarrassed, especially when the note on the back of the card made a reference to my gift that seemed catty and or snide.  However, after I had read the note over again several times I came to the conclusion that there was no intended slight to me and my gift.  I remembered fondly the scent of ginseng and went back into my house, deciding I would keep the next bar for myself. Dreams usually have but one purpose which is to confound, subvert and torture your waking life.  The subconscious takes a great and malevolent delight in mortifying your daylight self, making you wake up with a bad taste in your brain. Occasionally however they are like the episode presented above, whimsical and piquant. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 20th, 2006
4:43 pm	Ikea Gel Cube Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Children of all ages!! The Ikea Gel Cube is here at last. The Ikea Gel Cube is the latest addition to Ikea's neXtGen line of home furnishings. The Ikea Gel Cube incorporates all of the latest advances in natural science and clinical philosophy. Simply step into the 8' by 8' quivering and tranlucent cube of ComfortGel, and allow the Ikea Gel Cube to transport you into the neXtGeneration of home relaxation. ..there is no need to breathe or eat, as the Ikea Gel Cube transfers a delicate and intoxicating blend of nutrients, oxygen, and hospital grade muscle relaxants into your bloodstream via osmosis. ..there is no need to sleep, let the Gel Cube's unique bio-interface carefully select one of its three modes of unconsciousness: - REM state, complete with your selection of one of 6 dream sequences, all penned by Academy Award winning authors and directors - Safely complete a near-death experience as Ikea Gel Cube depresses all natural bodily functions, allowing you to temporarily trespass on the domains of the dead - Bored? Despondent? Nothing to look forward to? Allow the Ikea Gel Cube to place you in a state of suspended animation and undeath. Don't forget to set your alarm! **The Ikea GelCube was designed with a standard TiVo Xtreme Cranial Seeker Cable interface. (1 Comment |Comment on this)